just got home to my silent apartment. Feels kind of lonely to be all by myself. wish mom was awake so we could drink wine and talk about silly things. she is the one for me. the only one I can completely trust and find peace within. she is always there holding me. i should have known that things would change. I got home and nothing was like it used to be. think I grew up quicker than I planned on. she can´t hold me in the same way anymore. now days the loneliness stays.

went out with my swedish friends last night. saw both old and new faces. they were studying my every move. dont really know how to explain the feeling of being looked in to. we were supposed to go to this nightclub later.. but I changed my mind and took the tram back home. and now I´m here..in my silent apartment.

I should have known that things would change..they always do.